Imagine standing in the middle of a room where everyone else seems to have been training for this very moment for their whole lives and move around as if there is nothing new or shocking to them at all. Imagine hearing them speak to one another in a slang that seems to be a coded message that everyone but you has been highly educated in and being certain that whatever it is that they are saying is very important to whatever it is that the room is supposed to do next. Imagine feeling completely lost and halfway around the globe from where you are comfortable with your surroundings. If you can imagine this scenario, then you are prepared to understand my first day as a college student in the United States of America.
The first day of anything new is always hard for anyone but this is even more true when that person is going through many different changes at the same time. It is never easy to be in a new place or to be different from other people in that place. It is difficult to make new friends and to learn the ways of that environment. Everything new seems to be difficult. For me, I moved to a new place where I knew no one in order to start a new chapter in my life. Beginning college as a student from Kuwait in the American college system was far from what I thought I was prepared to do and the feeling of isolation was stronger than I could have ever imagined.
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"First Day of College".
I had, of course, came to orientation and purchased by books from the book store. I had walked through the campus and tried to take in everything that was said by my guide. I had practiced listening to and speaking proper grammar and the English language. Before arriving in the United States, I had even studied everything that I could find in relation to the culture and the environment that I would be staying in once I arrived to begin this adventure. However, I was not prepared for the language variations nor the pace of movement within the United States and this made for a very hard first day of college.
The very first day, I walked into my first class as a college student in the United States believing that I had acquired the necessary skills to blend in when I was quickly reminded of my differences. The professor spoke, directing the students to move towards the front of the room and said “guys, move to the seats up closer.” Everyone moved forward. I was a bit confused because “guys” as I had read, is a casual term for the male gender. Nonetheless, I followed suit and everyone was seated closer to the professor. A small confusion but it reminded me that I needed to pay closer attention to the language.
After class, I was sitting to myself reading and I overheard to men speak to one another while referring to each other as “brother.” Brother was a term that I knew and so, as I moved past them later, I referened their relation in an attempt to start a conversation. Again, I was reminded that I was no where near ready to conversate and I decided that I would simply stay to myself for the remainder of the day. I even considered that staying to myself and focusing on my studies would be my best course of action for the duration of my college career.
All of a sudden, I felt a sort of loneliness and desire to return home that I never expected to feel. I walked with my head down and my books tucked close to my chest. I felt the rush of people move past me in a hurry and seeming that they knew exactly where they were supposed to be heading. I was uncertain where I was going or where I should be but I was certain that I did not want to ask anyone for fear of speaking wrongly or misunderstanding what was being said to me. There seemed to be an entire world of people who knew things that I did not know and that I had no way of finding out what that was. I was afraid that I had made a horrible mistake in coming to the United States to get my college education.
At the end of my day, I contacted my family and told them about how I felt. I was nervous about telling them because I did not want them to be disappointed or wish for me to return home. My mother gave me the advice that I needed to hear. She said, “sometimes, it is more important to sit back and listen than to place yourself in the conversation. Eventually, the conversation will come to you and you will be ready. The pace will either slow to you or pull you along. Either way, the world will be right for you if you just give it time.”
I think I listened to that more than anything that I had heard all day long. I came to the United States to get my education in both college and life. What could I possibly learn if I knew everything already? Everything new is new to everyone at some point. This experience was very difficult but it will help me through things that are more difficult later in life as I will continue to learn and pick up my pace.
