My perspective of family and what that is is rather different than what it represents. I have seen families so mired in dysfunction that they spend vast amounts of time and energy either antagonizing each other or ignoring and avoiding each other. I have seen families so tightly knit that siblings are actually best friends and adult children view their parents as friends and confidents. It is the friend/family dynamic that makes the most sense to me. Of course, I have my family – whom I adore – but it is those people, chosen as family members, who add a certain richness to my life that is irreplaceable.
A large sector of American society tends to view family with a great sense of nostalgia; through rose-colored glasses, if you will.
Use your promo and get a custom paper on
"Looking at Nostalgia & Family Dynamics through Rose-Colored Glasses".
From one position, one can view this with a certain amount of cynicism in that there are so many issues in society today, possibly driven by “instant media”, and a healthy dose of denial about that which was never addressed and “hidden”, that might make one think, “Of course there is value in nostalgia; look at what a mess society is!” From the other side of the fence, one might view nostalgia about the past and the American family ideal with a longing for “the good old days.” This begs the question: Were the good old days really that good?
Stephanie Coontz has written at length about the reality of “the good old days”. I tend to agree with her. American society is so strongly influenced by the media and the entertainment industry that the people’s perspectives have become skewed. Life in the 1950’s was certainly no “Leave It to Beaver” or “Happy Days”. Ms. Coontz makes her case, and I concur, that people tend to remember the good things and minimize the less-than-stellar. Societal, economical and political factors have played a huge role in determining people’s perspective from both a nostalgic view as well as a practical one.
For example, an upper-middle class white family, with parents who today would be classified as Baby Boomers, might remember fondly their high school days, Varsity sports, cheerleading and more. A less affluent family of color, perhaps from the South, might remember school segregation, racial discrimination to a degree that we don’t see as much these days, and tales of the recent past generations that could include racial-hate groups, lynching and other tragedies of that ilk.
The darker sides of those eras contain much that does not merit the warm, fuzzy feelings many harbor. Gender discrimination and disparity was rampant, with jobs being classified as gender specific. The concept of community property was virtually unheard of, domestic violence and it’s prevention was not a topic for conversation, but rather something whispered about with a dose of sensationalistic scandal.
Minorities – people of color, immigrants, LGBT people, women and the disabled – are not likely to wish to return to the days gone by, where many earned much less than those non-ethnic or male persons holding the lion’s share of the good jobs. Parents of children with disabilities were encouraged to institutionalize rather than accommodate those children. Back then, it was much more of a white man’s world than what we know today, even with the current societal challenges.
Today’s families look much different than they did sixty years ago. With the amazing opportunities also come a new set of challenges, some of which are as, if not more-so, difficult as those found in the past. An example of this might be a gay couple, who in the past were forced into “marriages of convenience” to appease societal norms, whereas now, marriage equality is becoming more accepted. Adoption for same-sex couples, in many states, is still a great challenge, as marriage equality was just ten years ago.
Hopefully, as we evolve and move forward as a society, human equality, logic and common sense will prevail and we will never have to revisit the dark ages of “the good old days”.
