I conducted my parent-child observation at a local shopping mall near the playground area. I entered the mall during a peak time during the evening on a Saturday. I sat down at a coffee shop and decided on which interaction to observe. It did not take long before my attention was drawn to a particularly energetic child who responded to his name being called by his mother. I watched the child until he eventually ran to his mother, who was sitting at the near side of the play-place, likely texting on her phone.
This boy may have been five years old and he ran towards his mom, looking as though he knew that it was time to leave, but also appearing as though he was begging his mother to allow him to stay a while longer. After what appeared to be some discussion back-and-forth, his mom appeared to give in and she shook her head and said “okay, five more minutes.” She returned to using her phone while he ran to the play area.
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"Observation of Child and Mother".
The child appeared to be a five-year old Caucasian male and the mother appeared to be a young, early 20s Caucasian female. I would estimate them to be in a lower socioeconomic class background based on their appearance and the mother’s rather outdated phone, though this was difficult to discern based purely on observation. I based this observation of her appearance as she was wearing older-looking clothing that appeared to be pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt.
When the five minutes had expired, the mother called her son’s name again two times before he began to reluctantly make his way over to his mother. At that time, she handed him his jacket, and he refused to put it on. I moved closer to the play area at this point so that I could hear the conversation better. I heard the child beg his mom to stay just a little longer. He stated, “but we don’t have anything else to do, I want to play, it’s fun.” His mother said, “no, I’m bored here, it’s time to go shopping.” He then threw his jacket on the ground and began begging to stay at the play area. His mother appeared to get upset that he was having a tantrum, and she began to get noticeably irritable with the child, prodding that “it’s time to go, or else we’re not coming back here.” He retaliated with, “I’m not going shopping.” Others began to look at the pair, and the child sat on the ground with his jacket, sobbing because he did not want to leave. Eventually, the mother stated to the boy, “If you’re good, we can go and get ice cream on the way home.” The child shook his head and said, “but I want to play.” His mother was becoming more upset, and she stated, “come, on, let’s go.” Eventually, the child got up off the ground, his mom picked up his jacket, and she led him by his hand out of the play area. I saw them later as I was walking around the mall by myself and they appeared to be enjoying their time together; the mother and son were holding hands and he appeared happy.
Conceptualization
Although the child appeared to disagree with his mother’s wishes, he responded rather quickly when she called his name, and although he did display signs of a small tantrum, he appeared to calm down when he walked away with his mother. Based on these limited observations, it appears that he and his mother had a secure attachment style (Hooper, 2007). It would have been helpful to observe longer, but the child was open to exploring his environment knowing that his mother was nearby, even though he did not appear particularly timid about new environments. From a multicultural perspective, it appeared that the child and his mother were from a lower socioeconomic class, and there was no father present. I surmised that this was a young mother who was not in a romantic or marital relationship with the child’s father. The mother was not wearing a wedding right, and she was at the mall alone with the child on the weekend. Based on this information, I imagine that she works during the week and she may have limited time with her child. It is highly plausible that the parent is displaying similar parenting behaviors to those that were used with her, and I would imagine that her parents also had a secure attachment with their children.
Interventions
In terms of interventions based on the book by Siegel and Bryson (2012), a neurobiological perspective may be helpful, and the mother may wish to better understand the difference between the left and the right brain. In fact, she may benefit from connecting with the child’s right brain first when he is upset and unwilling to compromise, and then, when he is finished with his tantrum and more emotionally regulated, she can work with the left-side of the brain and enforce more authority. The mother did attempt to engage her child the first time by offering five more minutes, and when he later returned and became upset that he had to leave, she may have been able to better-engage him if she had him walk around with her while they discussed the rest of their plans for the day; this may have let him regain some emotional balance. She may have been able to use some memory skills to remind her child that “We agreed that you could have five more minutes to play, now those five minutes have expired, and we have to move onto other things.”
- Hooper, L.M. (2007). The application of attachment theory and family systems theory to the phenomena of parentification. The Family Journal, 15(3), 1-7.
- Siegel, D.J., & Bryson. T.P. (2012). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. New York, NY: Delacorte Press.
