Bringing children into a marriage or relationship causes many changes within the family unit. After interviewing some parents, it seems the biggest unexpected change after the birth of a child was the depletion of adult time. Parents stated that they did not realize how time consuming and tiring raising a child can be. Intimacy with their partner decreased because of added responsibilities of parenting. This was unexpected in parents because they had never considered the frequency and intensity of their intimate relationship would change, but they quickly realized that children drain energy both physically and emotionally.
Communication between partners as well as communication with friends and family also changed after having a child. Couples began referring to each other as “mom” or “dad” instead of a previous term of endearment like “sweetheart” or “honey”. New parents also claimed to talk about nothing except for their children when previously they communicated their own aspirations and life when socializing. Basically, parents discussed their children, whereas, previously they socialized as a couple.
Use your promo and get a custom paper on
"Family Dynamics".
Inevitably, relationships between the parents change after a child is born. From my discussions with parents, most relationships were influenced for the better. The common bond of a child can cause parents to work towards a common goal. They can share in successes and downfalls together, which strengthens their relationship or marriage. Most parents are able to co-parent, which makes raising a child both rewarding and less stressful when both parents are involved.
The information that I gathered from parents is quite parallel to the text. Communication is the key to good relationships. Although communication changed after a child is born into the family, it is still occurring just in a family sense. In committed relationships, children bring many parents closer because they are bonded to achieve a common goal, to raise healthy, intelligent and safe children. The communication patterns amongst parents that I spoke with do not differ very much from Guidelines for Effective Communication in Families. One parent cited decreased intimacy after the child was born, but she was speaking of physical intimacy. After further interview, she gained a lot more emotional intimacy with her husband in comparison to the physical intimacy that she temporarily lost. This reinforces that families are creative projects that build intimacy and that families must respect each other to happily coexist.
