Change is frequently a topic of discussion across many disciplines, and managing change effectively in the workplace is often strategy-based. In spite of this, change remains a terrifying prospect for adults, especially as they age, though they often retain significant control of their decisions and environments. The same cannot be said for children who therefore need help in the change-seeking process. There is a lot of good to be said about Antonio and the change he is seeking, and that should not go ignored. However, helping Antonio truly seek and make sustainable change may be difficult. Given his history with his classmates as evidenced by his essay (i.e., he has no friends), part of the change process will involve engaging his classmates and helping them understand Antonio’s desire for change and how they can help him.
His classmates have already helped initiate the change. In considering Antonio’s situation through the lens of Kenny’s (2007) concept of socialization and answerability, Antonio’s classmates have served as agents of socialization and answerability ‘authorities’ by visiting upon him a very real consequence of his actions: not befriending him. Antonio offers one justification in his essay regarding his behaviors, much as Kenny (2007) describes the hypothetical situations of Billy and Tommy and mistreating a classmate in Kenny’s article. Antonio’s justification is that he likes to fight, which shows self-awareness regarding the origin of his behavior. He recognizes that he has no friends, which shows self-awareness regarding how he is answerable for his actions. He evidently wishes to have friends and recognizes that not being a bully is key. Based on Kenny’s (2007) view, Antonio has made a very simple social calculation: bullying equals no friends; Antonio bullies, so he has no friends; Antonio wishes to have friends; therefore, Antonio must stop bullying. Using Kenny’s (2007) characterizations, Antonio is also holding himself answerable by admitting his actions and seeking assistance with stopping.
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"Bullying and Change".
Understanding Antonio’s behaviors and desire to change in Kenny’s (2007) terms offers a starting point for the game plan for Antonio’s change. One of the first steps to helping Antonio is to broach the topic of bullying with the whole class without singling Antonio out. This represents an opportunity to engage the whole class on the topic to promote awareness and to focus on preventing bullying. The work of Stiller, Nese, Tomlanovich, Horner, and Ross (2013), Bullying and Harassment Prevention in Positive Behavior Support: Expect Respect serves as model for the lesson. The lesson will focus on helping students distinguish respectful behavior from disrespectful behavior, identifying the former as appropriate and the latter as bullying and not appropriate (Stiller et al., 2013). The lesson will present the bystander strategy lesson in which students are taught that when they see a student being mistreated by another student, the bystander student will use certain steps to help the victim (Stiller et al., 2013). The students will learn how to use the stop strategy (using a stop phrase, moving on if the person stops, seeking assistance if the person does not stop, and/or ignoring the perpetrator and seeking help) on behalf of the victim (Nese, Horner, Dickey, Stiller, & Tomlanovich, 2014; Stiller, et al., 2013). The students will then learn how to get the victim to leave the area with the bystander student and then comfort the victim (Nese et al., 2013; Stiller et al., 2013). In this way, students are equipped to defend themselves and to help defend one another and to give the bully a chance to stop their behavior by being called (or, in Kenny’s process, made answerable) for their behaviors before things escalate.
Getting the class to support Antonio may admittedly be difficult, especially if the class is composed of victims of Antonio’s bullying. At this point, it may be appropriate to acknowledge that in the past that certain students had acted disrespectfully. However, moving forward, now that everybody had had the lesson about respect and disrespect, everybody was better equipped to deal with disrespect. If someone acts disrespectful, others can call attention to that behavior to make it stop. The “Expect Respect” model incorporates a sense of moving on (one might call it forgiveness) when the perpetrator does stop immediately (Stiller et al., 2013). That may be the key element for helping the students get past what happened and to engage their support for Antonio moving forward: giving the perpetrator a chance to realize what they are doing and to stop what they are doing.
Given that Antonio would be part of the “Expect Respect” lesson, he would be equipped with the stop strategy. If he starts to engage in bullying behavior against another student, the student can use the stop strategy. Antonio will then (theoretically) realize that he is has been disrespectful and should stop. This could take the form of a checklist for him that he could carry with him – a checklist that could be provided to the students as a reminder for everybody. A permanent display in the classroom that endorses the “Expect Respect” system of thinking could also be implemented as visual reminder.
In order to ensure that this change is sustainable and real, it is important to treat that change as a partnership between the teacher and Antonio and his parents. One suggestion to share with them would be the resource Bullying and Harassment Prevention in Positive Behavior Support: Expect Respect (Stiller et al., 2013). They would be informed about the stop strategy and the bystander strategy (Nese et al., 2014). A more specific suggestion would be that the parents also use the “Expect Respect” model: if they observe Antonio being disrespectful, they will call him on it and ask him to stop. They should also allow him to expect respect as well and encourage him to call out disrespectful behavior when he sees it and to discuss why the behavior is disrespectful and how it could be stopped. In certain situations, he could be encouraged to use the aforementioned strategies. He could see them modeled and model them himself.
- Kenny, R. W. (2007). The good, the bad, and the social: On living as an answerable agent. Sociological Theory, 25(3), 268-291.
- Nese, R. N., Horner, R. H., Dickey, C. R., Stiller, B., & Tomlanovich, A. (2014). Decreasing bullying behaviors in middle school: Expect Respect. School Psychology Quarterly, 29(3), 272.
- Stiller, B. C., Nese, R. N., Tomlanovich, A. K., Horner, R. H., & Ross, S. W. (2013). Bullying and harassment prevention in positive behavior support: Expect respect. Eugene, OR: Educational and Community Supports, University of Oregon.
