Interpersonal communication is different in various cultures. From my time in the United States, I have learned that there is a major difference between a collectivist culture and an individualist culture. In my native country of Saudi Arabia, youth stay with their parents longer and are more dependent on them. For instance, a female and a male can leave when they get married and are also compensated financially for it. In America, independence is encouraged and youth often move out by the age of 20. Money is usually not given to American kids. They are taught to get a job and support themselves, so they can pay their own rent and take care of one’s own bills. Achievement, autonomy, and worrying about one’s self interest seems to be the main values in United States culture. This differs greatly from what I am used to with my native land. We care more about the good of the group than individual accomplishment.
This collectivist attitude has also been demonstrated by the way that my family has responded to me and has made some decisions for me. I did not even know that I was going to be attending a new school in high school until the last minute. I was not happy about this, but my parents believed that they knew best for me. Despite this type of situation being a cultural thing, I still felt upset that I was not even consulted about the decision. It was my life and I should have been able to say no to my parents. It is hard to attend a new school. You have to start all over again and forge new friendships with people.
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The size of families is also something that is different in cultures. I came from a huge family and find it odd when people only have one brother or sister. I talked to Chinese girl who only had one sibling. Yet, one girl who is of Turkish descent had a bunch of siblings. That seems more normal to me, but I understand that all nationalities and cultures are different in terms of expectations.
Another dimension that differs between cultures is personal space and how certain populations deal with strangers. I found out the hard way that Americans are not as trusting as other cultures when I told another little girl that she could play with my son, who she had just met. I expected them to be able to enjoy each other’s company, but that ended when I realized that the little girl’s mother did not want that to happen. In a way, she treated my son like he had some disease. Back home in Saudi Arabia, things happen so differently.
In terms of friendship, it does not seem to be that hard to make friends with people. Just having something in common with someone, such as both people having children seems to develop a natural bond. I have been feeling more confident about making friends, especially since learning the English language better. The more English that I know, the more conversations I have that lead to more friends and making plans to get together and do more fun things. I have even been able to establish a friendship with another couple, which is nice for my husband and me. I enjoy doing activities as a couple and hope to keep meeting new people and developing solid bonds with interesting people.
I realize that I can be quite passive at times and not always deal with conflict the way that I should. For instance, some of my friends were over two hours late when meeting me one day. I was not happy and told them that, but I also forgave them easily when they apologized, which let them off the hook in a way. I should have said that I would never accept that again. Instead, I let them get away with things. Just not showing up for hours is not something that would happen back in Saudi Arabia. It is considered a major sign of disrespect.
I have also given in with my husband at times, in terms of opinions and how we see things. We have even argued about which type of show is better: a dancing or magic show. I tend to pick my battles and go from there. While I did like the dancing show better, if I had kept saying that, my husband would have gotten on my nerves. Therefore, I gave into my husband and said that I liked the magic show better.
Physical expressions of affection are something that varies between cultures. The way that people greet each other is another thing that is quite different. I am used to hugging and kissing people casually when I meet them. Yet, when I attempted to do this with someone that I did not know well, she did not like what I did. She did not kiss or hug me. When I expressed my concern to my brother and questioned what had happened, he started laughing and said that shaking hands is the right way to greet strangers in America. I wish that he had explained this to me before I went ahead and made a fool out of myself. I hate doing things that are out of place and that make me look weird. I want to do the right and proper thing socially.
Interpersonal communication is different for many cultures. These examples are highlighted in my essay. While I have some communication strengths, I still have some work to do in terms of communication and hope to get better in this area each day.
