The TED Talk by Helen Fisher addresses the main brain systems that are responsible for producing the feelings of romantic love, sexual desire, and long-term attachment that push people to develop relationships with others. Namely, Fisher argues that all three kinds of love evolved to push the humans to reproduce by first creating the capacity to experience a physiological desire for other people.
Secondly, the mechanism of romantic love helps one to focus on the particular person which prevents one from losing energy by pursuing different potential partners and focuses one’s attention on the particular person who seems very special and creates a new meaning in life. Romantic love, if mutual, serves as a ground for forming relationships where two people can bear children. Thirdly, the mechanism of long-term attachment associated with the feelings of trust and security in the romantic relationship serves as the evolutionary mechanism for keeping the two people together for long enough to raise children. While these three brain systems related to love are interconnected, they can also be directed at different people at the same time which may lead to difficulties sustaining long-term romantic relationships. Overall, the key argument Fisher makes is that love is not just part of our culture. Instead, it has a powerful biological underpinning that is universal to people all around the globe.
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The talk by Fisher offers some valuable insights into the nature of love and neurological drives that underpin relationships. Namely, by explaining what hormones and neurotransmitters are at play when we feel a great energy, obsession, and heightened motivation to be the person we love, Fisher demystifies the magic of love which is frequently regarded as completely spontaneous and unknown by the mass culture. Knowing the power of drives discussed in the TED talk from my personal experience, it was very valuable to learn how science explains them. Further, this talk appears to be very relevant for explaining the social related to relationships and marriages. Namely, the declining happiness and the intensity of feelings in long-term relationships may be explained by the fact that our media tend to emphasize the passionate lustful love as the only valid form of love while disregarding romantic love and long-term attachment. Hence, many people tend to think that their love is over when the passion fades away because the culture they are in does not teach them to recognize romantic love and attachment as desirable forms of love. Further, as new technology and communication services make the alternative partners more easily accessible and easier to communicate with along with normalization of casual sex, many people may find more opportunities to fulfill their sexual desire outside the committed relationships and without developing the deeper feelings of love. In this regard, it would be interesting to find out whether the availability of casual sex contacts stands in people’s ways of falling in love.
Relating the Fisher’s talk to the lecture, it is clear that the concepts she relaid on for discussing the different brain systems associated with love somewhat overlap with the kinds of love discussed in the lecture. Namely, passionate love appears to be the mix of sexual desire and romantic love as it features a high level of passion along with obsession, and great interest in the person one loves. Compassionate love appears to be the romantic love that has come through some time allowing people to develop deeper intimacy and get to know each other very well and to establish some level of security in the relationship. Further, Fisher’s discussion of brain mechanisms responsible for attachment supplements the lecture where we focused on different types of attachment and their roots in early childhood.