At one time in our culture, marriage was the norm and living together was an evil referred to as “living in sin”. Society has shifted, and suddenly living together is not only socially acceptable, some pop culture psychologies even go so far as to advocate it as a precursor to marriage. They say it can help you to know if he/she is the right one; you never know a person really until you live with them. An enormous increase in the divorce rate helped to reinforce the idea that one should “test” their intended mate by living with them before the nuptials. In this paper, I will compare and contrast the two; first we will discuss living together and its features, then we will look at the institution called marriage.
Living together became a speakable topic in America during the 1970s; changing mores during that decade led to more sexual freedom. That freedom included sex before marriage and living together; both these had been dirty secrets in previous decades. Girls who had premarital sex were branded as “bad” girls- they were not considered the kind one took home to his family for consideration of engagement. Babies born out of wedlock were considered “bastards” and somehow not deserving of the name of their fathers, or proper inheritants of any familial wealth. Today those children claim their birthrights through child support, which is strenuously enforced throughout the United States. Indeed, negligent parents can have their wages garnished, or even be jailed for failure to live up to their obligations in this area.
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"Marriage vs. Living Together".
As far as the happy couple are concerned, they have almost all the benefits of a married couple without the marriage license. They have all conjugal freedoms afforded to a married couple, they share in the economic development of the household, they become familiar with each other’s family and friends and they suffer the ups and downs of daily living just like any other couple. The major difference is, if things are not working out, they may part one another’s company without benefit of legal counsel.
Marriage, on the other hand, is full of legalities. A license is required to get married; some states require a blood test. The bride may take on the surname of the groom, although many modern brides prefer to keep their maiden names or hyphenate the two. There is no question of the surname of any children born to this legal union; in fact, law decides the offspring belong to the couple even if it is known that the paternity is other than the husband. The couples’ tax status changes and his debts are hers and vice versa. The income and progress achieved during said marriage is attributable to both parties; they are both stakeholders in the event of divorce.
The laws pertaining to marriage are much more defined and stringent than those adapted for the live together couples. One major feature is the exclusivity or “sanctity” of marriage. A person may “live with” as many individuals as he/she would like to claim, or can get away with. In most of the United States, however, a person may be married to only one spouse at a time. Anything else is considered bigamy, which is considered to be, and prosecuted as, a felony. The exception is the Mormons in Utah, for whom bigamy is part of their religious expression. They won a battle that could be resumed at any time.
Marriage remains to be the key that opens the doors to a couple’s lives without any omissions. Married couples may not testify against one another. The sanctity of the relationship is accorded confidentiality much as the attorney-client or doctor-patient relationship; it is held in high esteem. That is the crux of the difference between the marriage and the common-law, live together affiliation- legality. In modern times, laws are changing. Same-sex couples are using the right-to-marry legislation to claim their legality.
