Growing up from the not-so-rich neighborhoods, my interactions with the rich kids, after much reflection, invokes a sense of gall, as I remember them regaling, or for the most part, boasting to us yet-to-be rich folk about their parents wealth especially the cars. You could tell that their definition of ‘our’ success, as they boasted of their parents’ material belongings, was exclusively synonymous with the amount of accumulated material wealth. Reflecting back to that time and wishing that I had been smarter as I am now, I have, many a times, fantasized my stinging retort to those braggers; ‘your wealth was ill-gotten and cursed’, I would taunt in a singsong, which would have shut them up very fast, or not. Dyke and Murphy (357) confirm that success has almost entirely been taken to stand for wealth, but which is shown to be part of how people have been socialized. As an enthusiastic and accomplished athletic, I would have regaled, boasted even, to them that crossing the finish line or getting that ball behind the net or into the basket, was the surest meaning of actual success. Of course, this would have been met with more boasting and potentially, beatings by those rich kids as they were fiercely protective of their parents and their status, and no yet-to-be rich folk was going to revile that wealth.
The rich kids’ choice of music was another aspect that was disturbing to my uninformed mentality as they did not have any particular taste at any one time but listened to what was in vogue, because these artists had recorded a hit that was great. From punk rock to blues, the rich kids swayed with the wind seemingly, of the wealthy and powerful, and could only associate or be associated, only with the famous who had managed to make such great accomplishments. The common denominator in their myriad everyday activities apparently involved imitation of the crème de la crème who had ‘succeeded’; whether by default or careful planning, the motivation behind the achievement was not an element to be lingered upon. This focus on accomplishment did not cease with fame, power and wealth but also included a fascination with people who were deemed to have gone beyond calls of duty or brilliance especially Nobel Prize winners. Such was the extent to which everyday conversations, debates and arguments were laced with other people’s feats that one, at that age, would have been inclined to firmly believe that these kids would naturally grow up to be like these fellows. They would not only be famous, it seemed, but would initiate lots of new things that could tremendously and positively change the lives of other people especially us, common folk.
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This obsession with attainment included what the rich kids wanted to do, especially in relation to playing football or watching movies as every one of them fought each other to be regarded as one of the great footballers. Discussion on movies was also dominated not by how good a movie was but whether the main actor was known or ‘successful’, with those mentioning unfamiliar names being chastised for their lack of good taste. Etymologically, the online oxford dictionary (par.3) points out that success may have been coined around 1560’s and 70’s in Latin as successus, generated from the verb succedere meaning ‘come close after’. As such, the ancient Romans would correct the rich kids that success is any outcome, whether positive or negative which, as the oxford dictionary states, is archaic and obsolete at present. Currently, from the classroom to the corner office and in between, everyone is firmly set to outdo him/herself for the sake of success, trumping even contentment as an apparent legitimate outcome of one’s efforts. I cannot argue much with the rich kids about the joys of success as my examination results, which were above theirs by far, always engendered respect for the yet-to-be rich kid who was nonetheless amazed by the rich kids overriding need to succeed.
Naturally, it was one too many times also that the rich kids informed their less advanced peers what their families were not; we are not poor or filthy and my parents have so much that yours don’t. ‘Do we look sad or unfulfilled to you?’ one of them would taunt us which, of course, went beyond our flimsy arguments compared to the reality, even though I would have snapped at them that their boastfulness would turn their success to loss. I would have also been quick to point out that Michael Jordan’s abilities in the field and outcomes of his professional career ultimately exemplified what success truly meant. I would also have drawn a parallel to their parent’s wealth acquisition, which is based on diligence and industrious effort, had their brag not irked me so. As a response to their famous or ‘successful’ film stars, I would have contentiously exclaimed that Martin Lawrence would be a bigger success in comedy than Will Smith, which would further inflame more controversy. Moreover, Mahdavi (6) avers that men and women believe that success is synonymous with attainment of university education which translates to positive career attainment and even maintenance of good balance between family and career. After this reminiscence, am inclined to ask myself, ‘what’s with all this preoccupation about success anyway, and what is it?’; but I have a feeling that I have the answer to that.
- Dyke, Lorraine S. and Steven A. Murphy. “How We Define Success: A Qualitative Study of What Matters Most to Women and Men.” Sex Roles 55.5-6 (2006): 357-371.
- Mahdavi, Iraj. “Comparing Men’s and Women’s Definition of Success.” Journal of Behavioral Studies in Business 2(2010): 1-8.
- Oxford Online Dictionary. Success: Definition of success in English. Oxford Dictionaries. 2013. Web. November 14, 2013.
