Although not on a par with graduation or college application, one of the milestones of a high school career is attending prom. While historically proms (a term abbreviated from “Promenade Ball”) were upscale gatherings of young people dressed in their Sunday best clothes and sipping tea (Hickey, 2013), they have evolved throughout the decades into the social climax of the school year for juniors and seniors, often featuring live music, tasty punch (sometimes “spiked”) and rowdy post-prom parties. Imagine my surprise, therefore, when the parent of one of my classmates asked me if her daughter, a special education student, could attend prom with me and my date. I was taken aback to be sure, but did not want to immediately decline the request, for social, political and personal reasons. Although I did not know the girl well, I knew that she had worked hard as part of the prom decorations committee, and deserved a chance to see the products of her efforts. Likewise, I felt a tinge of political correctness informing me that it would be unfair to exclude this student, who was unable to find her own date or drive to prom herself, according to her mother, due to her status as a challenged individual. Therefore, I reserved judgment and resolved to discuss the matter with my date.
There was no doubt to me that this discussion would be reflective of symbolic interaction and socio-historic context on several levels. First and foremost, I was well aware of my date’s impressions of and expectations for prom, and vice versa. Prom is a “couples” event, where young people are seen together, dance together, and interact as a pair with their friends. It is a romantic occasion. Prom, we both knew, was not an event where two young people on a date play host to a third party. Even if that person were a close friend or relative, he or she would be a third wheel. Therefore, we faced a problem, in that neither one of us was comfortable in making what seemed to us an unkind act of preventing a dedicated class member from attending prom; on the other hand, we both wanted this to be our own special moment. Finally, after some discussion of the social impacts of bringing another person with us (how our friends would react, how it might affect our own interactions), my date hit upon a solution. We called the girl’s mother and offered to arrange for her daughter to oversee the registration book throughout the night. In this way, the girl could experience prom herself, buying a pretty dress and wearing nice make-up, and greet every person who came to the dance. We even made sure that she was asked to dance several times. A socially awkward situation had a successful, if not optimal, solution, thanks to direct and symbolic interaction between myself and my (very wise) date.
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- Hickey, C. 2013. “The High School Prom: An American Ritual for Teenagers.” The Washington Times Community. [Online]. Available at: http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/feed-mind-nourish-soul/2013/may/2/high-school-prom-american-ritual-teenagers/ [Accessed on 13 Jan 2015].
